he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
