Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
