I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
