Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
