listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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