It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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