I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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