dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
