It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
