the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
