Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
