Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It's blow job season.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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