I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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