I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
try to milk me bitch
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