woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
