Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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