How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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