Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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