I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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