Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
