Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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