if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
