i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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