did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Duck Duck Cougar?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
