Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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