it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
