just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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