She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
