i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
