Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I think people are normalizing furries
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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