Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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