I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
