There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
