her vagine was all disorganized.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I would fuck him just for his dog
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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