I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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