Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
