Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
