All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
