And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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