I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
