dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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