I hate all girls vehemently.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
When are your genitals available?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
