Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
