I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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