I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
