my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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