She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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