the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
