Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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