i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
