I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
