But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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